I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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