hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
