I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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