gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
