I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
