are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Vodka?
Forever.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
