Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
