She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
how does that bad decision feel?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
