I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
