so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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