can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
