I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
