Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
