There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.