Your mouth is God's brothel.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?