their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
