I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
