i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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