Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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