Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
