I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
