I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
