Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
