"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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