why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
