somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
