I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
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I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
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Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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