That's when you crack a 10am beer
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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