I just made out with a guy for $7.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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