I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It's blow job season.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
