Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
