All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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