I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
