You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
