I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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