Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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