i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
