your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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