Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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