she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
