So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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