Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
