were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
