We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
