you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
