How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Is it because I queefed?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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