the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
True strength comes from lack of pants
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
