I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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