My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize