You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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