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the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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