Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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