Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
