Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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