I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
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just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
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The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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