can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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