halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
