i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
