so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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