WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
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