who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
