i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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